Unlovable
by Usami Hana Haruka
Summary: Masamune comes to release how much damage he really did to Ritsu, almost to late. Ritsu falls into a state that brings Masamune to his knees. Can he bring her back? or his she doomed to be a doll wishing for death WARNING: attempted suicide. Fem!Ritsu (Not as sad as it sounds)


Ritsu sat on the living room floor looking at the manuscript spread out on the table before her. Toning stuck to her hands and the little knife used to cut it gripped tightly in one hand and her buzzing phone in another as her mother's name appeared on the screen with endless text messages.

Her eyes were hollow, looking but not really seeing. Numbness spread through her whole body. One message caught Ritsu's eye from her mother _'You ungrateful, unlovable child'._ Ritsu starred at it, watching as similar messages appeared in her mother's anger.

 _That's right… I'm unlovable. Takano never loved me, not even my mother. So… why am I here?_ Ritsu remembered the events of that day clearly. A week ago her and Masamune had fought as per usual and one particular line had stuck with her

" _I give up!" Masamune yelled shocking Ritsu "No matter how hard I try I doesn't get through to you that I love you. I just wanted a clear answer, to know how you felt but you wouldn't, you were giving me hope that there was something!" he continued "A man can only take so much of that till he's driven insane. So I give up" and he turned and left the apartment building._

At first she was happy that he'd given up. But then guilt overcame her. It was her fault he was upset, as per usual. He stopped loving her because she was so difficult "I'm unloveable, so much so that a man who claimed they wouldn't stop till he won, a man so stubborn that he'd win… gave up on loving you"

 _That's right. What's there to love? He only said you were doing good work to get you into bed. You're useless_

"He lied" Ritsu whispered "I'm useless" She muttered

 _He never loved you, he just toyed with you. Because you were easy. You're an unlovable creature._

Ritsu's phone slipped from her hand, angry texts still flooding 'you should have never been born brat!' one of them said 'I wish you would stop being a burden to everyone and shaming our family with your idiocy'

Ritsu's mind and heart became empty, all will leaving her body as the sharp blade of her toning kit pressed all to deeply into her flesh and she watched, laying herself on the ground, as crimson welled up and pooled on the floor in front of her face and she closed her eyes, hope it would be the last time.

 **Takano Masamune**

Masamune felt regret rip through his body, not for the first time that week, as he walked back to the apartment building after yet another one-night stand. He never brought any back to his apartment, it felt wrong, remembering Ritsu sleeping peacefully in his bed. Where she should be. But no. he gave up. It was pointless to continue fighting it but goddammit he wanted to.

He was stupid for giving up on them. He knew she loved him, if only he knew what was holding her back, he could fix it if given the chance. _What the hell am I doing? What am I, some horny teenager all over again? I need to fucking grow a pair._ Masamune let out a sigh and headed up to his apartment level. But he walked right past his apartment to Ritsu's and knocked on the door knowing she was home after seeing the light on from outside earlier.

But no one answered. Masamune frowned "Onodera, open the door I know you're in there" again nothing. "Idiot if you're going to work this late at least pay attention to what's around you" Takano reached for the door handle to find the apartment unlocked "Seriously?" Masamune grunted and stepped inside. "I'm coming in!" he called. He heard nothing, something was wrong. She'd never done this before. She was home, the door wasn't unlocked but she didn't respond. He entered father heading to the living room only to freeze.

Ritsu lay in a pool of her own blood.

Her breathing was shallow, but still visible if you were paying attention. Blood soaked her hair and clothes as she lay as if asleep. The knife from one of the toning kit she'd brought home lay at the tips of her fingers coated in that same blood "Ritsu!" Masamune cried pulling out his phone as he slid to his knees. He dialled emergency services as he checked for a pulse. The weak thudding against his fingers wasn't a great sign but it was good enough for now.

" _Hello emergency services"_

"Yes this is Takano Masamune, I just found my neighbour in a pool of her own blood" Masamune panicked "She's out cold and it looked like she's trying to commit suicide"

" _Sir, calm down, an ambulance is on it's way just stay on the phone okay?"_ the operator soothed. She continued to asked for details until the paramedics stormed into the apartment. They temporarily sealed the wound then placed her in the stretcher rushing her off.

Meanwhile Masamune couldn't move. He stared blankly at the blood that soaked into the knees of his jeans. This was his fault. Because he gave up. It was all his fault. Then a buzzing caught his attention and found Ritsu's phone receiving texts. From Ritsu's mother. Opening her phone he went to find the number to let her know about Ritsu when he saw the messages.

Not just his fault. He wasn't entirely innocent, he knew that, but he was probably that final straw. Reading the messages Masamune found out exactly why that Misunderstanding hurt her so much and how much damage it had truly done. And why she was so hesitant to admit her feelings. She wanted proof, not just kisses or sex or words but support, understanding, things that she could believe were real. That meant something, and thinking back… he'd been so close if he hadn't been so pushy.

"Oh Ritsu, What have I done?" Masamune whimpered before he started to cry. For Ritsu, for the pain she had to endure. "Please forgive me, I'm such an idiot"


End file.
